How to find a ring size (without spoiling the big surprise)

One of the most common issues I face when designing an engagement ring is finding a ring size without giving away the upcoming proposal.

The ring size is one of those first important steps in the process of creating an amazing, story-telling engagement ring. We’re not talking generic, stock-standard, mass-produced and off-the-shelf. We’re talking an engagement ring so personalised, it couldn’t have been designed for anyone else in the world.

While the best and most accurate way is to have the finger measured by a jeweller, this isn’t an option when you need to keep the proposal hush hush.

Don’t worry, it’s possible.

And this is how.

Is there a favourite ring in your partner’s jewellery box (ideally, one that fits on the left ring finger)? Here are a few ways you can find an approximate size.

1. Put the ring on a ruler and measure the inner diameter. This is the measurement of the ring at the widest point of the inside of band.
2. Press the ring gently into a bar of soap to get a clear imprint.
3. Trace around the inside of the ring to get an outline on a piece of paper.
4. Try the ring on one of your fingers. It may not fit, but take a note of where it sits. A jeweller will be able to measure your finger at this point to get an approximate ring size.
5. Borrow the ring (if your partner won’t notice it’s missing) and get it sized at a local jeweller.

Remember, this measurement will be an estimate and the ring may still need to be resized after the proposal. Try two or three of the methods above so your jeweller can determine an average.

Also make sure your jeweller knows that the size is an estimate and ask whether any design features like engravings or gemstones will be affected if the ring needs to be resized in the future.

It may sound suspicious when the questions come from you, but family and friends may be able to get some insight without tipping your partner off. Try these on for size:

1. First off, ask them! This may be a conversation they have had with your partner before and it’s possible they already know the answer.
2. Use a friend who has just gotten engaged. Get the friend to subtly encourage your partner to try on their ring to see if it fits.
3. Get them to take your partner shopping. This is a great time to try on rings “just for fun”. It’s also an opportunity for to do a little sneaky research into preferred ring styles.

Wait for your sibling or mum’s birthday and pretend you’re shopping for a ring as a present. Ask your partner to help by getting their ring size measured by a jeweller.

Hot tip: Avoid suspicion by measuring a few fingers, not just the left ring finger.

Some people really enjoy the deeply personal experience of creating their own engagement ring. Your partner may already have a clear idea of what they want, or may really love the exciting process of choosing their own unique design.

But this doesn’t mean that your surprise proposal plans are ruined. It’s still possible to keep them top secret.

How you ask?

Use a stand-in proposal ring.

A stand-in proposal ring is a ring that you use in place of the engagement ring (kind of like a promise ring, but with more intent). It’s usually more affordable, easier to choose and can be delivered in less time than a custom designed engagement ring (perfect for when you need a ring fast)!

It’s also MUCH less pressure on you. Your partner isn’t necessarily going to wear it forever, so it doesn’t have to be perfect.

When there are a million other things to think of, this is one way you can reduce the stress and focus on planning the perfect proposal.

Using a stand-in proposal ring means that when it comes to the actual engagement ring, an accurate finger size can be taken and your partner can take part in designing the ring they’ve always dreamed of!

Your proposal ring can be custom made to incorporate symbols of your relationship or can be ready-made like the ones in the shop.

Fairina Cheng is a Sydney-based independent jeweller that takes a distinctly different approach to design.

We create jewellery for rule-breakers and story-makers. Whether your partner is anti-diamonds, or someone who doesn’t stick to the status quo, we’ll help you create an engagement ring so personalised, it couldn’t have been designed for anyone else in the world.

Book a call to chat through your ideas and get one step closer to designing that perfect engagement ring.