Episode 2: The myth of the “perfect ring” (and what to do instead)

The myth of the perfect ring and what to do instead. 

Let's be real. The jewellery industry has sold us a script. And I don't know about you, but that doesn't sit well with me. It's time to unlearn a few rules the industry has been not-so-subtly pushing for decades. 

Spoiler alert: The perfect ring? That's a myth.

When you think about an engagement ring, what pops into your head?

It's probably a diamond solitaire. Classic. Sparkly. And the bigger the  better.  

Maybe it's something you've seen in a movie or on a billboard. That image didn't just happen. It was manufactured.

Back in the 1930s, diamond sales were tanking, so DeBeers launched one of the most successful marketing campaigns of all time. They coined the phrase, "a diamond is forever". You may have heard of it.

It positioned diamonds as a symbol of eternal love, and it made sure that every Hollywood proposal reinforced it.

They also planted the idea of the three month salary rule. In the 1930s, the rule was one month. It later increased to two months. By the 1980s, DeBeers had created the rule that you should spend a quarter of your annual income on a ring.

Again, not anchored in any fact. But it was a clever way to sell bigger diamonds.

Now, here's the thing. If you genuinely love the look of a classic diamond solitaire, then that's totally valid. The problem isn't the style itself. It's the assumption that there's only one right way to create the perfect ring.

But what if your love story doesn't feel like a picture perfect Hollywood romance? Maybe it's a little weird, a little wonderful, a little unexpected.

You know what? In my opinion, you are the best kind of couple to design for. 

Because when you're not following someone else's script, you are free to create something that's actually yours. Not just different for the sake of it, but personal in a way that no mass produced ring could ever be.

So what does personal or "unique" actually mean?

When people hear "unique engagement ring", sometimes they think it means it has to be big and bold or super quirky.

But here's the truth. "Unique" doesn't have to be loud, crazy, colourful or out there. While it can be all of those things, in actual fact, it just has to be you.

It could be a classic setting with a secret engraving that no one else sees. It could be a gemstone that reminds you of your first trip together. It could be your partner's birthstone tucked into the inside of the band.

And sometimes because relationships themselves are messy and magical, your perfect ring might be decidedly imperfect.

 I've created rings from the rustic twigs of bouquets that couples have given each other or matched to the colour of their partner's eyes. Rings inspired by birds, by avocados, pumpkins, fish. The kinds of quirky symbols that really mean something to the people who wear them.

A unique ring doesn't need to be wildly different for the sake of it. But how amazing if, in addition to being absolutely stunning of course, it also reflected your story. The values that you share, the adventures that you've had together.

If you've ever looked at mass produced rings and thought they're nice, but they don't feel like us, then you are in the right place. That feeling is telling you something.

Okay, so you're probably thinking, yes I do want a unique ring. I don't want something that's plucked off a shelf that everyone has. Where do I start?

You don't start with "what size diamond do I want" or "do I want a halo or a three stone design". You start with your story.

Think about how you met, the in jokes that only the two of you understand or the places and moments that made you go, yep, this is my person.

But Fairina, I'm not creative. Do I really have a story?

Yes, you do.

I hear this uncertainty from so many of my customers that I even built a tool to extract that story, especially if you don't know what it is yet. Head over to Storysmith.  It is a fun, easy way to discover ring design ideas based on your story.

You answer a few questions about your relationship and it generates personalised ideas and suggests how you might incorporate them into a ring design.

Here's what I want you to take away from today:

• There is no perfect ring
• "Unique" doesn't have to mean out there - it just means true to you
• And your story is more than worthy of a custom design that turns your engagement ring into a keepsake

Until the next episode, have a play with Storysmith. Browse the Design Gallery for ideas, and if you're ready to go deeper, book a custom jewellery consult.

If today's episode helped bring a little clarity, it'd mean a lot if you follow the show or shared it with someone who's doing things a little differently too.

See you in the next episode.