"I am worthy": How a custom ring became a symbol of strength
The following is a personal account that reflects Lauren’s own experiences. Names have been changed for anonymity. Comments have not been sought by any others mentioned in this story.
“I am worthy and important to the right kind of people.”
These powerful words are the essence behind a custom ring that has become Lauren’s symbol of strength as she battles endometriosis and years of relentless bullying. Most importantly, they are a constant reminder of the love that carries her through.
If you’re passionate about finding courage in the face of adversity, this is the story to read.
“Jack and I met through a mutual friend in early 2015,” says Lauren.
“When he first asked me out, I said no because the Adelaide Crows game was on. That's when he knew I was the girl for him.
When Jack's family met me they told him that if he didn’t hurry up and marry me, they would adopt me because they never wanted to lose me. We had crazy fun times and I felt like I was destined to be part of this family.
I’ve been told all my life that I will never be able to fall pregnant due to severe endometriosis. I was completely open and honest with Jack on our first date. Jack didn't care as he never wanted kids anyway.
When I met his parents a couple of months after, I told the family the same and they said that it didn't matter at all. For three years, Jack's entire family said they loved me regardless.”
It all changed when Emily, Jack’s brother’s new girlfriend, entered the picture.
“She had a list of demands that we as a family had to follow before she wanted to meet us. These included not being too loud, not drinking alcohol and not listening to our music.
When we finally met Emily, she rolled her eyes and turned her back towards me when Ethan, Jack’s brother, introduced us. That night, she accused me of flirting with Ethan when I touched his shoulder as I handed him his drink. She later told everyone that because I'm foreign, I have no sense of boundaries or respect towards her relationship with her man.
In September 2017, I struggled with my periods, bleeding daily for months at a time. I was referred to my ninth gynaecologist. After a series of tests, we were told again that I would never fall pregnant. If I did, I would have to terminate the pregnancy as it would be too dangerous for both myself and the embryo.
We got home that day and showed Jack’s family the results from the specialist. Emily was there and witnessed me crying and mourning the bad news.
A week later she announced that she was pregnant. She then claimed that the pregnancy was ectopic as Ethan couldn't see the baby on her ultrasound.
Fast forward a month to my birthday. I didn’t want to celebrate but Jack’s parents, Rachel and Ben, insisted that we go out for dinner and they invited Ethan and Emily as well.
When we all got to the pub, the lads went to get us drinks and Emily, myself and Rachel were seated at our table. That's when Emily got up told me, 'OMG, today is our special day Lauren, it’s your birthday and my abortion day! YAY me for getting rid of this unwanted thing inside of me and yay you for your birthday. We will always be connected and share this special day!'
I was so broken, I left the table in tears and locked myself in the ladies room crying. After that, I ended up with anxiety, depression and PTSD. Emily and I never spoke again.”
When Ethan and Emily had a son, he became a bargaining chip.
“Emily threatened the family, saying that if they support us in any way that she will take her son away. That's when Jack’s family started to treat me differently. They stopped talking to me and Jack. I wasn't invited to Mother's Day lunches anymore."
In their words: "You're not a mother. Dogs are pets not children."
The day after yet another surgery for endometriosis, Lauren was in the car with her mother-in-law.
"You better fix yourself up and get pregnant because we want a blood child from Jack as well," Rachel said.
“At the pub, I brought what she had said up in front of the family but she denied what she told me in the car.
'You need help. You're going insane,' she said.
I started withdrawing myself from the family and kept to myself.
Fast forward to 2022, when I had an emergency hysterectomy and a knee reconstruction. The family made it clear that they were very disappointed with my hysterectomy even though I explained that it was to save my life. I had taken away their dream of being grandparents to Jack's children.
Due to these two major surgeries, I was unable to return to work. But instead of feeling sorry for myself I decided, with Jack’s support, to study and get qualified as a nail artist.
I opened my own nail studio, despite being told by the family that they don't see the point in supporting my small business. Driven to support victims of bullying, I also got accepted to Flinders University to study my Bachelor of Social Work degree.
This was when my ring idea was born.
After what felt like endless research, I found Fairina and instantly fell in love with her unique style. We worked together for over a year to create my dream wedding and engagement ring. Fairina took my chaotic ideas and brought my vision to life, better than how I even imagined it.
I asked for a haphazard ring to represent my mental health struggle with PTSD, anxiety and depression from being bullied for the last seven years and grieving so many losses.
I wanted birthstones for my family, in different colours and shapes, to be my daily reminder that, out of so much hurt, I have been blessed with the support of an amazing husband and our fur children.
The cluster includes beautiful gemstones: a pink/orange tourmaline, an Australian parti sapphire, a salt and pepper diamond, an orange zircon and a sky blue zircon in loving memory of our girl Orra, in heaven.
I also asked to include on the side of my ring, an amethyst for my cousin as he is my hero and my rock, and a champagne diamond in loving memory of my cousin who passed away in June. She was my best friend."
As a special request, Lauren’s ring was delivered in time for her father-in-law’s 70th birthday. Surrounded by the family who bullied her, she held her head high and proudly wore the ring as a shield against negativity.
Click play to check out the sparkle on Lauren's ring!
“My ring reminds me daily that no matter what people do to me, I am surrounded by love. I have a beautiful family, a supportive husband and our fur children.
Being featured on your website has a deeper meaning for me. It means that I am worthy and important to the right kind of people. You have no idea the confidence boost you have given me with my beautiful new ring."
Lauren is now a qualified social worker, supporting people in disadvantaged communities and those who struggle with mental health.
“I know I can't fix or change the world. But if I can protect someone from going through what I had to endure, that will be the greatest gift of all time,” she says.
Moving from strength to strength, Lauren’s nail studio has recently been named a finalist in the Australian Women’s Small Business Champion Awards.
Lauren now faces the world with newfound confidence. With Jack by her side, and a shield in platinum and gemstones, she is well on her way to creating a new life for herself, one bold step at a time.
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